I did something today, with the help of one of my new models Jessica. I now have a real studio to work in, yes a real place to shoot, not someones garage or spare room, my living room will not have to be torn apart every time I want to shoot.
A REAL FUCKING STUDIO!
I will be sharing it with another photographer, who has a lot more equipment than I do, which I get to use as well. It will be in an old warehouse that is being converted into space for artists, not only to work but to display their work as well. The first floor will have a gallery area and a bar for events. How fucking cool is that one! This is going to be one hell of a place when it is finished and getting in early means, it’s super cheap, something that I can afford if I forgo a few things and I think it is worth every penny.
Not everyone is as happy or excited as I am and yet others are even more so excited. As we were getting ready to leave the studio my model Jessica was talking to me about how much Amber will love this place. It is PERFECT for nudes and fetish work….more so the fetish….as well as anything else.
Taking this risk, meaning signing a lease and committing to the monthly rent, is what I MUST do in order to be able to get back to doing what I love as a real profession, not just for pleasure. I will be able to slowly work my way back up to a decent work schedule, getting my body and mind ready for the pain and dealing with it a little at a time. Once I can work a decent schedule and have the pain under control, I can have a real life again, work, make money, feel like an actual human again.
I am one of the lucky ones when it comes to being on disability, I had good jobs before I just had to stop working, so I get a decent amount of money each month (the more you make, the more you pay in, the more you pay in, the more you get). My friends wife is on disability and she gets less than $500.00 a month, hell I get more than my father and my Uncle and they both worked a LOT longer than I did (they are on social security, not disability).
Recently I joined our local Fox stations MyFox.com website, to answer a question for a contest which you had to register for, so I did and decided I would throw up a blog and some photos. I was smacked in the face with requests to buy some of my work (flower and nature stuff) and have had an entry featured on the community blog page everyday since I joined. Two for flower shots and one for Jetpack work, which also put them on the front page of the music section, great stuff for a local band. This needless to say has made me very humbly happy.
I did my first shoot since Amber left, normally she is with me and shooting without her just feels wrong. Pretty much the same feeling I got after my mentor Andy died of cancer, I just could not shoot, it felt wrong so I just put my camera away. It did not help that I was out with a model that has a bit of a crush on Amber, I am sure they will be spending time together at the clubs if/when Amber comes back. Once we got going I felt better, actually Jessica was really good to me today, she helped me more than she possibly knows. She helped me take this much needed step to getting a life back, being something more than a lump in pain, I can be a happy photographer in pain instead :), being able to take my time, find a pace or a schedule that allows me to work again.
The place is cheap, in rent only and even if it means I go without one or two things, like food, it is what I have to do…there is no question in my mind. I will walk to the store if I have to, in order to save the money for this place.
Everything happens for a reason, today was the perfect example.
I’m excited! How about you?
